2008 Affiliate President Conference Call Schedule Posted Calls will be held from 12:00 to 1:00 PM on the Thursday prior to the Board of Directors meetings/calls. 2008 Board of Directors Meeting Schedule Posted Family to Family Teacher calls: 2nd Wednesday of the month. If you would like to be on the call, please contact Lisa Moore at lmoore @namitexas.org.

Celebration Recovery

I was blessed to grow up in the 1950s as the third youngest of dozens of cousins in a large, acculturating family. Irwin, one of these cousins, was very different. Ten years older than me, older even than my big sister Marilyn, he struggled with a serious mental illness. He could not be calm with others and was always going into the mental hospital. We were told that there was no hope.

Our family was close and the other older cousins, including my teen-aged sister, often hung out together. In the 1950's, nothing could be more embarrassing. Irwin was loud, unpredictable and vulgar. For me a 10-year-old budding Dennis the Menace - he was REALLY cool - better than Jerry Lewis! The things he said and did! I loved Irwin all the more for his irreverence, and we bonded.

Years later in medical school, a psychia-trist named Dr. Arthur Shapiro talked about some patients in a way that fit Irwin to a "T". Irwin came in and Dr. Shapiro's approach led to prompt relief of his signs and symptoms! There were hospital-wide conferences on Irwin. I am probably a psychiatrist today because of this experience.

Sadly, this medical triumph does not have a happy ending. Irwin was "cured" of signs and symptoms but never really had much of a life after this "miracle." He lived on for decades but never over-came humiliation and stigma to see the whole and wonderful man he was. He never recovered. There was no job for Irwin, no home or new and better life.

Irwin, always a good friend, was a smart and sensitive man. He retained a good sense of fun and gave me a lot before he passed away. In the year 2000, a group of us created the Irwin Foundation to celebrate recovery from chronic mental illnesses. People recover from these ill-nesses as they recover from other chronic illnesses. They recover as their life - friends, work, family, interests - become more important than their illness. And this recovery deserves to be celebrated - the more publically and in fellowship with others, the better. The Irwin Foundation now partners with local NAMI affiliates to throw "Celebrations of Recovery" all over America. The first of these occurred in Texas, a State that has embraced "Celebration Recovery" more strongly than anywhere else. There is more. To tell you all a secret, I was celebrating the recovery that Irwin deserved but never could reach and yet I confess that I did not fully understand what this "recovery" was all about. What might Irwin have "recovered" when he never had much going for himself in the first place? What could possibly be "recovered"? How can you "get your life back" if you live with an illness that keeps you from having a life in the first place?

I must say that the answer to this question came to me in a way that I never would have expected. In October 2003, Austin, Texas threw a fabulous Celebration Recovery. I came down to Austin for the event from my home in Cleveland but never actually got there. Instead, on the way from the hotel, I had a massive heart attack. At 58, I had not even known that I had heart disease. Life does throw you curve balls.

My wife Joan was with me and she insist-ed that the indigestion that was bother-ing me was serious enough for us to get to the nearest hospital. I did not want to go, but women can be insistent. The other thing going for me was the fact that this was no ordinary hospital, this was Seton Hospital in Austin, home of an awesome cardiology team and Dr. David Terrison. At the time, this was just the nearest hospital and emergency room, and there I went with my indigestion and my bad attitude.

And as I lay in the emergency room, with not a thing wrong with me, all wired and IV-ed up, my pending heart attack struck. Doctors call this particular type of heart attack "the widow-maker" - it is guaranteed to kill you unless you are right there where they can immedi-ately help you - right where I was!

At the time I was sick as I could be. In my bed, surrounded by doctors and nurses, I got sick, and I got green, and I threw up all over myself, and I lay there, a complete mess, moaning and groaning like a big, beached whale.

Now I might have gotten frightened. And I should have gotten religious. But what happened is that I got self-con-scious and humiliated. Pretty dumb, you might say, but truth is truth. I am, I think, rather typical of a lot of guys my age. I pride myself on my ability to han-dle situations. NOTHING rattles a guy like me - I take care of myself! Well the last thing I wanted was to lie there, in front of all of those strange men and women - helpless, out of control, vomit-covered and pathetic. I really hated this! And then, it came to me in a flash. I had lost my cover! The real helpless me was lying there - exposed!

Well, now I have my cover back. I am in recovery. I can run 5 miles, do sit ups, write columns, be charming and witty and play all of the numerous roles in life that mean so much to me. And be 20 pounds slimmer! I got "cover" back! Better cover than ever. THAT's what recovery is all about.

We are all of us born naked and helpless and without cover and the first thing that happens is they swaddle us. We get cover! If we are fortunate, it is wonderful and loving cover. Or it may be rotten cover, but cover nonetheless. No infant can live without it. And when you are sick, cer-tainly when you are mentally ill, you lose that cover. And without cover you are exposed and raw. And then, in recovery, you start to get your cover back. Perhaps the same cover, perhaps a better cover. It is really wonderful to be in recovery and to get that cover back.

I do think that I now understand the meaning of recovery and I have tried my best to explain this to you. I can describe my heart disease and my recovery with-out stigma - people smile as I describe how I exercise and eat better and deal better with stress (and I will not deny that there are slips).

Of course, if you were not NAMI friends and advocates, telling a story of recovery from mental illness would take infinitely more courage than my story of recovery from cardiac disease. This must change! Every story of recovery is essentially the same. Aren't we humans wonderful - isn't the Grace that sustains us all won-derful - we stumble and fall, and we can and do recover!

When I got back from the hospital I told my kids that I had a new role model - a guy named Scrooge. They were puzzled. Yeah, I said, the guy in Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol. Scrooge AFTER Christmas! In fact I like my new cover better than my old one and I think others do too. And best of all, I am very proud to say, Joan and I share my new life in recovery in our new home in Austin, Texas, the very place where my recovery began. This past June, the two of us moved here. Austin is now our home and the home of The Irwin Foundation.

And may you all be in recovery! Each and every one of you! This IS something to celebrate! I look forward to meeting all of you at NAMI's Celebration Recovery in Austin on June 19, 2005. And Cousin Irwin, famous for his big, broad grin, will gaze down on us all and join us as we celebrate.